There are all different reasons to write. Some of them happily recording tidbits of your child's growing up. Little things you never want to forget. As mothers we watch this beautiful child unfold..... they walk and talk and voice their own opinion. They have their own likes and dislikes, which may or may not be the same as ours. We watch as this child who we once considered an extension of ourselves, steps out into the world. And we hold our breath. Watching.
We hope that we loved enough......
This young man in my house who used to be small enough to cradle in my arms is now 2 inches taller then me. His feet are as big as his dad's. No matter how many memories and photos you have, you're just not quite prepared for any of that...... like a song I heard recently "I remember, there was a time, when I used to sing for you." (Tracy Chapman)
"Wow, 12 and a half" I say to my oldest. "Are you looking forward to officially being a teenager this fall?"
"Nah" he says.
"Why?" I ask.
"Because becoming a teenager means I am on my homeward stretch of being here (living at home)".
That struck me as being some pretty deep thoughts for a 12 year old.
"So what do you think you'll do when you're all grown?" I ask.
"Definitely pack my bags and head to Alaska." he tells me. "I'll stay with Grandma & Grandpa until I get a job, and then maybe I'll stay there so I always live near them" he tells me.
"Sounds like a good plan" I say.
How the heck to do I have a kid with a plan? I mean running off to join the circus when he was 4 is one thing..... but this is a real plan. Something he put some thought into. I'm totally impressed watching his self unfold. William Shakespeare on his lap.... head bowed lost in words... this kid loves literature in a way I have never seen..... scooping a little brother under his arm and tickling him.... his witty dry sense of humor.... his testing the boundaries now and then.... all these things remind me to exhale... a small sigh of relief.... of amazement.
Phew....... keep breathing I tell myself.....